Join me in my imaginary, Homeschoolers Anonymous group, hidden in the basement of the local church. Bad coffee has been brewed, less than the average amount of denim is worn, hefty tote bags sit next to each chair. Take a look around the unexpectedly large circle and you won’t find many “typical” homeschoolers. Instead you’ll see the mom who only feeds her kids meals from the frozen section. Next to her is the former public educator that has resigned to focus on her own kids. Then there is the high-powered lawyer and finally the tattooed and pierced mom wearing the super tight workout clothes, semi-sweaty from her yoga class.
And me. Tonight is my night to share my non-stereotypical homeschool issue. I’m a bit nervous but feel OK with these other moms, so I go for it. Ready?
“Hello, my name is Lindsay.”
“Hi Lindsay.”
“I am a homeschool mom and I have a reluctant reader.”
Gasp. Whisper, whisper. Accepting smiles and affirming nods.
There we have it. My not-so-normal homeschooling situation is out in the open. But then again, is there such a thing as a “normal” homeschooling situation?
That’s what it feels like sometimes, to not have the five year old that has memorized all the states and capitols, the 7 year old that can’t quote Socrates yet or the kid who just isn’t flying past all of the kids his age.
Homeschoolers get pegged as being over-achievers and it’s just not always true.
In my case, it was the reading. I was stumped though, because she could read . . . she just wouldn’t very willingly. How could we have started our 100 reading lessons back when she was and now, at 6 or 7, she was still so reluctant to read?
What’s a homeschool mom to do?! Here’s what worked for me and my reluctant reader:
Phone-a-Friend
I tried some online ideas, ensured she knew her basic phonics lessons again and tried to not poke my eyes out as she labored over reading assessment sentences. I gave up and called my favorite educator friend for advice on helping struggling readers. We deduced that my daughter wasn’t struggling with the skill of reading because she had a learning issue of some kind – it was sheer laziness of doing something a little tough. (Ahem, the apple doesn’t fall far from the momma tree, here.) I loved her suggestions and spent the weekend gathering my resources.
E&E Reading
The next week, we began our new routine of Entrance and Exit Reading. I explained that this new habit would be non-negotiable, much like seat belts in the car. School will not start until she completes her reading, and school will not end until she completes her reading. She had permission to pick what she wanted to read from a basket of pre-approved options. The basket included books just below the level I knew she could read and high-interest topics.
Check My Goals
My goal wasn’t to improve her reading skill; my goal was simply to help her develop a stronger love of reading- or at least a non-hate relationship with reading. I wanted her to see that opening a book and working on sounding out that word was worth it and that she was capable of doing that simple task. I needed her to get over the hurdle of disliking reading and the only option was to just do it until it got easier. Once that hurdle was conquered, we could move forward.
DEAR Time
Entrance and Exit Reading helped our situation a great deal because it helped me to feel more enabled to enforce the practice. After a while of E&E reading, I reached back into my elementary days and remembered DEAR Time- Drop Everything And Read. I remember sitting in my classrooms and hearing the principal call for DEAR Time over the intercom. It was a great way to make reading fun for even the most reluctant readers. Even my teacher grabbed a book and indulged. We have DEAR Time here now, too.
Now, a few years later, reading still isn’t the favored activity for one particular child. But our academics require a lot of higher level reading. Honestly, I wanted to fight and force her to read every. last. word. But my good friend reminded me to think about the purpose of that particular assignment. Is it to practice reading? Or is it to gain information? If it’s the latter, then take advantage of some audio books or read the book aloud and enjoy it together, sometimes. I have to tell myself that audio books aren’t giving up on becoming the eager reader, but they are an enjoyable way to gain the necessary information (and a great way to take advantage of driving hours).
Your Turn
So, what’s your H.A. story, dear homeschooling mom? Is your learner avoiding the second grade math facts as if he will grow an extra limb from memorizing them? Do you secretly wish you could be the best classroom mom in the history of elementary school Valentine’s Day parties? Next week is your turn in our Homeschoolers Anonymous meeting. We will all welcome you with open arms and offer the accepting smiles and affirming nods.
Homeschooling isn’t about having the 14 year old Harvard grad. It’s about far more important things. It’s about lovingly teaching the child with whom you’ve been blessed. And if they are not the perfect stereotypical homeschool child honed by you, the perfect stereotypical homeschool mom – it’s OK! We still like you. And we like your style, too.
Lindsay Banton is a caffeinated mother to three great kids. She never expected to homeschool, but has found that it is a wonderful addition to their lifestyle and wouldn’t change it for the world. In addition to homeschooling, Lindsay works alongside her husband in campus ministry at a large university in Connecticut. She grew up in Virginia but has settled into life in New England, learning to love the long winters, cool springs, green summers and gorgeous autumns- and has built a boot collection to meet all the demands. She is currently blogging at www.oaksreplanted.blogspot.com